Chuck Norris

Hey guys, everthings a bit stressful this week isn't it? Hopefully this will give you the LOL's!

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving dor.
Chuck Norris built Rome in a day.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris is allowed talk about fight club.
Chuck Norris can speak braille. <---my fave lol

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